siapa bilang gadis melayu tak menawan?

Manis gadis melayu mungkin takkan hilang dek kerana pakaian seksinya, ataupun slang Inggeris ala2 Londonnya, mahupun cubaannya menidakkan asal-usul sendiri dgn statement seperti…. “am half Indonesian, you know”, “my dad Bugis, so I ada darah belanda!”, “i’ve been in UK for quite some time, mind my bahasa”, so on, so forth.

Tatkala memegang gelas berlabel minuman keras, ataupun botol2 hijau... berkelakuan di luar kawalan bila akal waras dihanyutkan oleh penangan air larangan itu, saat itulah mereka tidak lagi nampak manis memegang title gadis melayu.

Tapi, dalam keadaan gelap, bingit & berhimpit2 seperti itu, apa bezanya aku dengan mereka? Aku pun ada di situ, jadi saksi kejadian, tak berbuat apa2. aku & mereka kan kelihatan sama saja.....

Bertemu kita di padang masyar kelak utk disoal & pastinya ia akan jadi satu tayangan yg maha panjang.....

the SHOWPINK's junkyard sale resulted..

...two pairs of super cute shoes with such great bargain... 2 pairs = RM50! though am quite broke at the moment, but woi, who wouldn't want to get those?!! (look!) ?!! since i've fulfilled the "can't help myself to buy & buy" desire, i hold myself from digging around the "please pick me, am cute" clothes that haunted & recurred in my thoughts untill now. it's ok, i'll save the clothes' hunting for Bandung later. i don't do heels, but I need them for formal wear. hey hey, am entering the working world soon!!!

with smiling face...

2nd time around....

and, don't forget....

yeahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if only

if only the wall could talk not just listen to my cries...if only you could understand, not just pretend like you do....if only we never met, then this would never happened...if only you love me like i love you, but there'll be no measurement for that...if only am not being myself, then people will stop talking...if only life is easy, then God wouldn't promised us heaven...

words, are meant to be conveyed.... suffers, are meant to be hold? me then, meant to be myself, not others...so, why don't you just shut up....

shhhhh.....

micro KORG (synthesizer/vocoder)

new in the band...

self-esteem

Monday, January 14, 2008

elle (3:44 PM): hey hey

elle (3:44 PM): u u!
elle (3:44 PM): blueek!
vertigo_box (3:45 PM): helina noheee!!!
vertigo_box (3:45 PM): i mss yuuuuu
elle (3:45 PM): iffahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
vertigo_box (3:45 PM): miauuuu
elle (3:45 PM): rawr

elle (3:45 PM): know what?
elle (3:45 PM): i don't have the guts to call up LB for my internship
elle (3:45 PM): dang!
elle (3:45 PM): come on
elle (3:46 PM): consume me with some of the ads agencies in cyber
vertigo_box (3:47 PM): manade ad agency kat cyber
vertigo_box (3:47 PM): mostly kat damansara
vertigo_box (3:47 PM): ko cube try sachi & sachi
vertigo_box (3:47 PM): pebendetah name die
elle (3:47 PM): satchi satchi sayang

elle (3:47 PM): OMG
elle (3:48 PM): xde ads agency ke kt cyber?
elle (3:48 PM): alah...
elle (3:48 PM): mesti ada punye
elle (3:48 PM): dora ckp byk...
vertigo_box (3:48 PM): ade ke?
elle (3:49 PM): tolongla tanya2kan
elle (3:49 PM): utk kebaikan ko jugak
elle (3:50 PM): nnt kite bole lunch sesama
elle (3:50 PM): hehehhe
vertigo_box (3:50 PM): 4 flat student HAVE TO come with high confidence

elle (3:50 PM): alah
elle (3:50 PM): nk lecture aku plak
elle (3:50 PM): aku gelabah rabak ni nk start internship
elle (3:50 PM): padahal dulu dh penah keje

Money oh money....

Due to money constraint, err...actually nak berjimat untuk beli new desktop, probably am gonna skip bjork in jakarta and stick to our early plan to do the 5 days shopping di Bandung. I can't believe I would give up bjork over shopping?!

Well, these are the reasons (solid reasons tau): Am afraid I will be the only girl in the trip who crazily insist for the Ice Queen and suprisingly those boys are rather excited to do shopping spree; Farina cancelled joining, which is a bad news cause aku tak sampai hati nak menonton bjork phenomenal's performance alone & nanti terpaksa membuat Farina jealous dgn pengalaman indah aku....(hehe); I heard rumours about insane possibilities that could happen in any concert in Jakarta (kejadian pengsan, mati dipijak adalah normal di kalangan pengunjung2 konsert2 di Jakarta); if i decide to do bjork in jakarta, expenses akan menjadi double (perhaps more) sebab terpaksa berbelanja lebih utk tambang dari Jakarta ke Bandung, hotels, etc, etc & mungkin akan terkejar-kejar dari Jakarta-Bandung-Jakarta....

So, aku terpaksa pilih satu aktiviti yg memanfaatkan semua orang. Obviously, am really really sure I would lose control over the shopping's temptation...Haih...kalaulah ada duit 1 juta...

dear Ice Queen, am really sorry....I have to cancel our date? Ugh!

Disfunctional brain

Mata aku masih terkebil-kebil lagi masa Faisal & Erin sampai di rumah around 1pm. Dalam ingatan aku, class at 2pm & aku still ada 1 assignment yg masih belum disiapkan before pergi class. Aku pun bergegas mandi & bersiap-siap. Faisal tapau nasi ayam for our lunch. Cepat2lah aku makan & siapkan assignment yg tak siap tu. Past 2pm, walaupun tersangatlah malas, aku tau aku terpaksa juga pergi class. Diorang pun bertolak balik ke Kuantan, and aku dgn yakinnya memecut kereta pergi ke class.

Sampai di kolej, aku bergegas ke room 015, no one in the classroom. Aku bergegas lagi naik ke tingkat atas, ke SOLILS, pintu pejabat tertutup rapat, ada notis pada dinding; closed from 12.30-2.30pm on Friday. Okay. Aku mula confuse, hari ni hari apa? Terus aku tanya seorang budak yg berpeleseran di corridor tu, “Hari ni hari apa?”. Budak tu buat muka blur & jawab, “Jumaat?”. Take note question mark pada jawapan dia tu. Aku terus turun tangga laju2 menuju ke kereta (sambil tangan aku tertekan button merah pada alarm), berbunyi punyalah kuat alarm kancil CAT 818 milik Ahmad Razin tu.

Kecewa dgn diri sendiri, aku pecut kereta balik rumah, dalam kepala otak aku, “bukan pertama kali aku lupa perkara-perkara macam ni”.

THE GEMINI vs THE VOICES

It echoes in my ears. It recurred in my thoughts. Spinning super fast like it would never stop. I need help.

I meant to talk about warm visit from Faisal, Erin & Bul last night. Our night out to Fun Fair across the road. Am surprised with another visit from my parents today. I felt important, I felt needed, I felt loved.

Am glad when Faisal finally decided untuk bekerja di darat. Am happy that he finally met his soulmate. Erin is such a sweet girl. I can see their chemistry, all of us friends can feel the love vibe running & flying so strong around us whenever the merpati 2 sejoli around. We are happy for them.

Aku lagi berkira-kira perbelanjaan untuk ke Jakarta & Bandung. Aku dah tekad, walau apa pun terjadi, aku akan sampai ke sana.

Oh voices, I know u won’t go away. I can’t hold on no more, I won't resist your frequent attacks no more. I just need to believe that am okay. I need to remind myself over & over again that everything’s gonna be alright. Afterall, I don’t mind your regular visits now, you’re like my most loyal companion now. Pardon me for being defeated & tempted by you.

OMG!

BJORK, Live in Concert Java Musikindo

Selasa, 12 Februari 2007

Tennis Indoor Senayan, Jakarta

Tiket:Festival : Rp 600.000

Tribune : Rp 500.000

-thanks to Nan-

p/s maybe i have to skip bandung.

dua ribu lapan

odd. last night i dreamt of En. Amir (my lecturer) who instructed me to do some sort of assignment, kind of an individual project of building a prototype of emporium, using the egg's shell. The next episode of the dream then, we were trapped in this huge atrium in desperate to save our lives. rasa seperti atrium itu akan runtuh, cause i remembered feeling gayat sepanjang tidur. mungkin kesan dari akibat i haven't attend any of his classes this week, first thing in the morning when I opened my eyes, I was cautiously wanted to start doing the project. Dear En. Amir, please don't appear in my dream anymore.

New year was fine. We didn't compromise with any extravagant celebration. Just a decent night out to annexe then early breakfast at nz and as always headed back at only past 4am. oh and yes, we had a lovely dinner at faisal's girlfriend's place yesterday. She prepared tasty spaghetti then the four of us went to KL View in Langat and had coffees while enjoying the lights of Kuala Lumpur above that hill. Lovely.

Am not prepared with lists of resolutions but these are some of the things that I look forward to accomplish through and by the end of 2008:

• honoured practical training at LB (that big, famous ads agency)
• graduating
• ending up my student's life, start working
• Bandung trip
• Sarawak for RWMF again! (this year, we seriously want to experience real tuak)
• Bjork Gudmundsdottir
• get a new car

and oh, please please, I hope this year I wont' be entertaining any freaking rude, psycho boyfriend's friend's gilfriend anymore. That was a nightmare.

2008, here I come!