hi, saya betul2 mengandunglah! :)

22 weeks & kicking!

4 months;

baby waved at mommy during scanning today. oh joy!

am i lucky enough?

Peeps,

Am 12-13 weeks pregnant, still wandering around Empire Shopping Gallery pushing myself as I used to claim this as my dream job. Yes, dream job. What the hell am I thinking?

I've got head-huntered by an agency, to send me over for an interview at KLCC. Same post, same shit but bigger opportunity, bigger company with bigger perks of course. But hey, am I lucky enough? I almost forgot that am married & carrying a child now. Nobody would hire a pregnant lady thus I felt like am such a loser cause if I really get a job there, my whole maternity expenses will be fully-covered. Ah dang!

At the end of the day, job is just a job. Am hesitating to either devote myself to this child in future or fully commit to this-so-called-dream-job, rise & fall again and again. Ugh.

Not all news are bad. I'll get my husband to live with me soon. We are no longer weekends' husband & wife. Thank you God, I am so lucky.

Bitter smile.

newsflash;

this is my 3rd test kit.

ijab kabul ii;

we had strong chemistry with our wedding photographers;

how i feel today;

kalau la ada satu hari dalam hidup aku takat ni yg i really need a shoulder to cry on, it would be today.

dalam banyak2 tahun dalam hidup aku takat ni, tahun ni yg most tak inspired.

dalam banyak2 cita2 yg aku kejar selama ni, cita2 yg satu ni yg patut aku paling proud with.

am supposed to be at my very peace, tapi aku kekok sesuaikan diri dgn aku yg baru.

love in krabi

i never go crazy over beach, nor island, nor getting myself burned under the 40 celcius hot sun just to look sexy tanned.

but, i fell in love with krabi. the 5 star tree house, the private pool in our honeymoon villa, breakfast served in our room every single morning, cartoon channel that made us laugh non stop, mew on the stereo every evening, the sounds of bird chirping, caterpillars dropped by & say hello before they becoming lovely butterflies, we were in our own small, happy little forest, the lovely people we encountered, wind blew subtly on our face, not saying goodbye but see you again. so much love there we left, my honeymoon was perfect.

alhamdullilah.

straight face;

saya rasa saya rindu suami sayalah. rasa macam nak tampal gambar great wall of china banyak2 kat dinding. ngeh.

plus size sexxxaayyy;

Read for your own good:

http://www.vogue.com/feature/2010_April_Kate_Dillon/

http://shine.yahoo.com/event/bikini/model-kate-dillon-speaks-out-about-being-too-skinny-too-plus-size-and-whats-up-with-the-crystal-controversy-2015056/

he took my love, then ran around

husband flew off to beijing last night. as much as how okay i am with that, i still hope am there with him, watching the great wall of china, standing and just watching.

i've been practicing to divert my negative thoughts into something else - imagining it vice versa. it does not work, but at least i try.

so, we honeymooners are going to krabi on the 3rd aug. hope to come back, looking tanned & proceed with ramadhan. positive mantra, positive.

-my saturday at work-desk, bahhh-

statement berani;

okay, i honestly think this song is good. (lari jauh2 sambil tekup muka)

pengantin lama

i have no magic hands, but i don't know why i insisted to do every single things on my own for my wedding. these are just little things yang orang lain tak ambil pusing pun, but i want it my way and that makes me happy;

above flower buttons i did for fun, some were given away as buttonnaire and whole lot more ada dalam gobok ajaib aku currently. :)

menyeksa diri nak jugak letak ribbon kat kad tu.

final look of the button-corsages for kakitangan yg bertungkus lumus di majlis perkahwinan saya.

All totally d.i.y.

Cheers!

lucky;

Despise the fact that i really really hate my hairdo during Kuantan's reception and the 10 inches ugly make-up that the stupid "pak andam" did (i wiped off the make-up & succumbed to the fact that i was destined to not wearing make-up on my big day), these cute kids (weddingbellsphotos.blogspot.com) are really talented & cheer me with these lovely wedding shots! Oh God, am so lucky. Big smile.

Somehow, I really looked happy in above pictures kan? Smile. Suka! Thanks Baha & Barney! Cheers!

check rock, check rock!

8.35 - 9.10pm TONITE! Check, check, ok go!

http://www.urbanscapes.com.my/music/

mula;

saya cari happiness. kdg2 sangat saya jumpa. dapat sentuh sekejap, terus happiness lari pergi. saya cari-cari lagi. really sure, nanti2 dapat tangkap and sentuh sekejap. jadilah kot.

am at peace today;

Our new 2-rooms apartment. I stay here alone most of the time. Though I always complaint that weekend-wife was never my ambition, nah, here I am now. This place is still incomplete, target to get it done by Eid this year.

Wa Caya Lu la Chetan Bhagat;

Don’t just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order. There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same is with life where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One thing about nurturing the spark - don’t take life seriously. Life is not meant to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up?

It’s ok, bunk a few classes, scoring low in couple of papers, goof up a few interviews, take leave from work, Enjoy with your friends, fall in love, little fights with your loved Ones . We are people, not programmed devices.

Don’t be serious, be sincere

--- By Chetan Bhagat

ijab kabul;

8 years, now we will start new beginning.

bikin panas;

adik: woi kak, ko dah kawin, selalu pulak balik sini?

mama: kan husband dia takde sini, dia takut tinggal umah baru dia sorang2.

adik: ek eleh. dah tu, umah ko kat damansara tu sape duk?

aku: bobo (rabbit aku).

mama: (gelak2)

adik: ek eleh. baik ko tak pyh kawin!

aku: (rasa nak tendang kepala adik aku laju2)

biar kita cerita pasal kahwin sampai muntah;

diam. aku sedang fokus, apa perasaan beza yg wujud jauh jauh tu dalam hati aku bilamasa aku bukan lagi aku yg dulu. diam lagi. fokus lagi. tiada beza sangat pun. tapi bau2 kemarahan masih ada di situ, tak gerak mana2 pun. sah. sahlah aku ni memang orang yg marah sentiasa. nothing wrong with that kan? tentu manusia beza2.

dari mula hari pertama bergelar tunangan orang sehinggalah ke malam terakhir sebelum bergelar isteri, takda satu detik pun yg tak mencabar. owh, baru aku faham bila orang asyik2 cakap bertunang tu banyak dugaan. betul, memang betul.

ini benda yg selalu aku bagitau orang2; "i love my job, i love my job". sampailah aku tak sedar, kerja aku tu memakan hidup aku sikit demi sedikit. jadi? bukan semua yg kita mau kita akan dapat kan? adil.

seminggu sebelum majlis perkahwinan, aku tak tido straight. bukan jelmaan panda lagi, aku nampak org 2-3 bayang. fun jugak life aku masa tu, nampak banyak je sekeliling aku selalu. tapi, aku ni memang jenis yg teguh, lepas juga majlis ijab kabul & majlis persandingan aku yg aku anggap perfect. amin. jelaslah Allah memang sayangkan aku. alhamdulillah.

enough talking. gambar hiasan buat penyedap mata; doorgift big day aku.

terbaru;

tiba-tiba.

i decided to visit.

here.

whole lot of things to write about.

but nothing come out.

i need time.

till then.

let me figure honeymoon spot first.

and continue arguing with me long-distance husband.

and still looking at mama with angry face.

but inside, lots of love. lots lots of love.

peace.

joy & pain

the wedding craze has over. will start sharing on the wedd prep details soon.
cheers!

kata-kata serius;

Apa ada pada kegusaran jiwa? Apa ada pada kesedihan yg constantly menjenguk? Kita semua ni manusia, apa segala macam, semua tak kena. Saat engkau jatuh terduduk, pilihan kau sendiri utk bangkit berdiri, terus berlari atau terus membaringkan diri menyerah utk dilanyak makin banyak kekalutan menimbun. Aku tak pandai bicara tuturkata kesedihan terlampau. Tapi aku sama saja macam kamu semua, lalui jatuh bangun, terduduk berlari.

Tapi biar terang, aku sangat pasti saat ini bila aku terduduk, aku seperti mahu serah diri & play dead. But hey, help! am alive, still.

Not only because Placebo is set to rock KL, this budak Hackem Elektrischer playing for the opening! Am so proud of u kiddo! Am soooooooooo going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Info:

Date/Time: 16th March 2010

Venue: KL Live

Ticket Prices: RM98 & RM158

Local supporting acts includes DJs Hackeem Elektrischer, Twilight Actiongirl and singer Ikwal. Tickets are available at all Axcess outlets, Rock Corner outlets, Music Valley outlets, Extreme outlets and on the event day itself. The first 500 to purchase the tickets are entitled to a free Placebo Live in KL t-shirt while stocks last.

Kisah tunang membawak ke kahwin part 1;

I guess by now i should be worried already. But somehow, everything moves in slow-motion. Maybe it's me, maybe our financial situation, maybe it's my new job and most probably am freaking out. Well, give me time, aku slowly ambik mood & momentum....Am getting married soon! So, just for fun, to build up the hype, i'll be posting more of my engagement pictures, u know, just to keep me very much aware of how near my wedding day is...

These are hantaran bertunang tu hari. All diy by me & my mom.

Well, am not really into flowers then, so I reminded mom again & again tak nak bunga2 sgt. But, since jiwa dah semakin matang, mungkin masa kahwin nanti akan byk bunga2 pulak.

more coming;

Our diy candy boxes. Done by fiance. :)

Yeah, we are totally going for diy wedding.

Credit to stylemepretty.com

Wedding preparation: quick updates;

Duit keluar macam air:

1. Entah ke berapa ribu kali visit Jln TAR

2. Sudahnya beli beaded-wool-lace @ biwanis, the curve (for wedding dress on big day)

3. Lace yg over-kerawang tu utk selendang nikah

4. Mix-match: songket(kurung nikah)+full-pattern lace(selendang nikah)+matching songket (samping)+silk crepe(baju melayu nikah)

Total d.i.y by Pn. Hasnah & soon-to-be-bride daughter;

Button-corsages for friends & kakitangan yg akan dipaksa utk membantu on my wedding day! Hoho!

bunga pahar kami-carnation made from cloth