Saturday, April 2, 2011

surreal

for anyone who knows me, i don't blame you guys for labelling me as a grumpy complainer whom forever never happy with whatever situation it is. it's okay, i learned how to accept criticism nowadays. smile.

it must be the pregnancy hormones. for sure. without realizing it, am a happier person? i don't think too much no more. i don't care too much no more.

afterall, i still think life is unfair. people would have so many things to say most of the time. i started to filter, no matter how stupid i think my girlfriend is, she is still my girlfriend, i have to accept her for who she is now (though i remember clearly she was way better before). well, people change, my girlfriend changed, my bf/fiance/now husband changed. my step-dad changed. my mum changed. i changed.

my point is, why bother? this is life. looking back few years behind, when i started this blog, i never thought that 1 day, i will be the pregnant lady trying to share with world how surreal it is the feeling of having a baby. back then, those writings were all about how stupid & lame & unfortunate my life was. This year, Dear Allah tested me & family & He also given me strenght I never had before. The stronger I get, the more people expected from me. How is it fair when I gave you people excuse to be who you are but you never acknowledge my sacrifices of becoming better person so I can get along with you better? People are just selfish like that.

However, everything else doesn't really matter anymore. I will be having a child, out from my body, an out of the world experience. So people, forgive me for being me, last time & this time. Am a proud soon-to-be mommy. Insyaallah dipanjangkan umur.