perempuan berkorban, lelaki bertahan;

Semalam aku mengomel, perempuan sinonim dgn pengorbanan, ASAL PEREMPUAN PERLU BERKORBAN, terus ada kawan yg mengingatkan, sedangkan LELAKI SELALU BERTAHAN. Fair enough. See? Am quite easy to please lately.

Percaya tak kehidupan sebenar seorang wanita bermula setelah melahirkan? Aku tak pandai nak share isi hati dalam sini sebab asyik baca tulisan orang2 yg power berblogging, buat aku rasa rendah diri nak tulis tentang apa pandangan aku tentang having a baby. Sebab selalunya, pandangan telus aku orang anggap bukan2. Cukuplah aku katakan, nowadays aku boleh duduk depan Iman selama berjam2 just to watch him sleep. Orang kata kasih sayang ibu tiada tandingan, nah sekarang aku dah rasa.

Selamat Hari Bapa;

Kamu org boleh cakap apa saja tapi tak perlu ayat ini; "seteruk or sezalim mana dia pun, dia tetap ayah kamu". period. KAMU ORANG TAKKAN DAPAT BAYANGKAN KEZALIMAN YANG DIA DAH BUAT. so, selamat hari bapa lah kepada bapa2 okay. period.

p/s At least from now on I can wish happy father's day to my dear husband. Alhamdulillah. :)

pantang

ada air mata gembira, air mata sedih, air mata stress, air mata tak tau kenapa keluar air mata segala bagai sedang dalam pantang ni. 44 hari rasa lebih lama dari 9 bulan (in my case almost 10 months mengandung). kalau orang minta aku describe perasaan mempunyai anak, mengandung, melahirkan and sekarang melihat anak dpn mata setiap hari, ya ampun, tak dapat aku nak gambarkan dgn perkataan. bahagianya cemana, sengsaranya cemana. bila aku asyik meng-google blog2 org baca pengalaman mereka dulu, tak penah sekali pun terlintas dalam fikiran aku, i would break down & cry di hari aku mula susukan iman.

berpantang sendiri mmg mencabar, mana nk mandi, nak siapkan makanan, nk look after the baby at the same time kusut tgk keadaan rumah yg carca marba. bila nmpk kelibat diri depan cermin, rasa our old-self slowly walk away, kita automatically menjadi org yg baru, seperti kita yg dulu takkan datang datang lagi.

aku rindu aku yg dulu, melihatkan senyum anak dgn mata bulat pandang tepat ke arah aku, ya Allah, hidup aku sekarang tiada lain selain utk dia.

my iman 33 days old

28 april 2011, hadiah dari Allah swt;

IMAN DHANI AHMAD RAZIN

Born at Putra Medical Centre on 28th april 2011, 11.30am, weight 3.7kg

Allahuakbar;

Doa perempuan lebih makbul daripada lelaki kerana sifat penyayangnya yang lebih kuat daripada lelaki. Ketika ditanya kepada Rasulullah s.a.w. akan hal tersebut, jawab Baginda s.a.w., "Ibu lebih penyayang daripada bapa dan doa orang yang penyayang tidak akan sia-sia".

Apabila seseorang perempuan mengandung janin dalam rahimnya, maka beristighfarlah para malaikat untuknya. Allah s.w.t. mencatatkan baginya setiap hari dengan 1,000 kebajikan dan menghapuskan darinya 1,000 kejahatan

Apabila seseorang perempuan mulai sakit hendak bersalin, maka Allah s.w.t. mencatatkan baginya pahala orang yang berjihad pada jalan Allah s.w.t.

Apabila seseorang perempuan melahirkan anak, keluarlah dia dari dosa-dosa seperti keadaan ibunya melahirkannya.

Apabila telah lahir anak lalu disusui, maka bagi ibu itu setiap satu tegukan daripada susunya diberi satu kebajikan.

Apabila semalaman ibu tidak tidur dan memelihara anaknya yang sakit, maka Allah s.w.t. memberinya pahala seperti memerdekakan 70 hamba dengan ikhlas untuk membela agama Allah s.w.t.

surreal

for anyone who knows me, i don't blame you guys for labelling me as a grumpy complainer whom forever never happy with whatever situation it is. it's okay, i learned how to accept criticism nowadays. smile.

it must be the pregnancy hormones. for sure. without realizing it, am a happier person? i don't think too much no more. i don't care too much no more.

afterall, i still think life is unfair. people would have so many things to say most of the time. i started to filter, no matter how stupid i think my girlfriend is, she is still my girlfriend, i have to accept her for who she is now (though i remember clearly she was way better before). well, people change, my girlfriend changed, my bf/fiance/now husband changed. my step-dad changed. my mum changed. i changed.

my point is, why bother? this is life. looking back few years behind, when i started this blog, i never thought that 1 day, i will be the pregnant lady trying to share with world how surreal it is the feeling of having a baby. back then, those writings were all about how stupid & lame & unfortunate my life was. This year, Dear Allah tested me & family & He also given me strenght I never had before. The stronger I get, the more people expected from me. How is it fair when I gave you people excuse to be who you are but you never acknowledge my sacrifices of becoming better person so I can get along with you better? People are just selfish like that.

However, everything else doesn't really matter anymore. I will be having a child, out from my body, an out of the world experience. So people, forgive me for being me, last time & this time. Am a proud soon-to-be mommy. Insyaallah dipanjangkan umur.

what's in subang?

Today is Friday & am in a bitchy mode - i saw a couple of walking hipsters in my mall. Period.